Chronicles of a Late Bloomer

Celebrating: 65 pounds gone! Not to mention crossing the 289-pound mark, which now means that I have less than 100 pounds to lose and, most importantly, I no longer qualify for free weight-loss surgery! The option is off the table!

Important note: I now understand how dangerous it is to achieve goals without having a new goal. It’s like telling the universe, “Thanks for all the help — but I feel like stalling out now.” So, my next goal will be to weigh under 275 by Valentine’s Day. This makes me seem like a real under-achiever, but consider this. Sometime in the next month I will have major surgery, and I assume my recovery will not include vigorous exercise or even hours of standing in the kitchen, cooking. Also, I’d like to make it through the holidays without having a major diet meltdown. It is still my goal to weigh under 289 pounds by the end of 2008 and under 275 by Valentine’s Day. I promise to adjust these numbers as needed, but I’d rather adjust them down than up.

Grateful for: having a computer again. Last night, I got my geek on and replaced my hard drive. I still haven’t tried to restore the backup of my personal weight spreadsheet (with handy-dandy charts!) but I will do that later today. Looks like I will be able to post more frequently again!

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 291.4
This week: 288.8
Change this week: -2.6
Total change: -65.8
Next milestone: 70 pounds gone
Current goal: 275 by Valentine’s Day

This week’s mantra: “Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

I guess I had lost sight of my own advice — rather than feeling overwhelmed by the big, humongous, ultimate 170-pound goal, it’s vital for me to set my sights on the little bitty goals. Honestly, I get pretty pumped each time I lose another 5 pounds, and my WW leader has her own way of celebrating those little victories. Even though I don’t necessarily follow the WW plan, I pay for and attend the meetings because she is so spectacularly good and because her cheesy little rewards have come to really mean something to me.

So, I just had to refocus. I had to remind myself of all the cliches — the “slow and steady” and “inch by inch, mile by mile” cliches — and about how these 5-pound goals are truly adding up to big-time results. Lose 5 pounds 12 times, and you’ve lost 60 pounds.

I had to just go back to taking it meal by meal and talking myself through it: eat vegetables every chance you can, take it easy on the refined carbs, dodge the sugar, drink more water…

Don’t forget, I had bloat and a few other things working against me last week, which resulted in a gain. So, while it may look like I lost 7 pounds this week, I’ve really lost about 2. I’m just right back on track. Trending down. Re-focusing my thinking. In it for the long haul. Leaving the 300-pound mark in my wake and never looking back. On to the next 5 pounds!

In my efforts to break past the 300-pound mark without totally freaking out, it occurs to me that I might need to adjust my big-picture goals a bit.

Originally, my goal for evading weight-loss surgery was to weigh under 300 pounds by the end of 2008. There it is again — the big three-oh-oh. With so much riding on those three digits, it’s understandable that my mind and body connection could fabricate a metaphysical traffic jam and, once again, prevent me from crossing into a new century.

Well, yes. My goal was to get there by the end of 2008 but guess what? If my graphs and charts and trend-lines have anything to say about it, I’ll cross that mark by the end of September. For the first time in my life, I am a person who sets and achieves goals. And, the thought of achieving a goal and not knowing where else to go makes me feel very, very uncomfortable.

All of this is to say that to (1) depower the 300-mark and (2) continue sanely along this journey, I am revising my end-of-year goal:

By the end of 2008, I want to weigh 289 pounds or less.

This means that I will have (a) lost approximately 70 pounds and (b) have only 100 pounds left to lose until I cross into my “normal” BMI range.

100 pounds left has a nice ring to it. I think 289 also gives me some leeway in case I need some latitude during the holidays (though, I don’t anticipate needing more than 2 or 3 “free” days and now that I know that chocolate causes my migraines, well… let’s just say it will be a very different holiday season all around). 11 more pounds in 3 months. 4 pounds a month. About 1 pound a week. That’s the course I’ve already been on, and I want to see if I can do it all the way through to the end of the year.

PLUS! Consider this: I am currently a candidate for weight-loss surgery to be paid in full by my insurance because I have over 100 pounds to lose. If I reach 289, I will no longer qualify for that alternative. It will be off the table and I will have nothing to do but acheive my goals the old-fashioned way.