This morning: 332.2
This time last year: 279.6
The difference: 52.6

Hi. There are 52 weeks in a year. That’s +1 pound each week this year.

Well, damn.

Here we go again.

Grateful for: Clear-headedness. Another chance to have another chance.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 306.8
This week: 299.0
Change this week: -7.8
Total change: -55.6
Next milestone: 60 pounds gone (I already celebrated this one, but will celebrate it again.)
Current goal: 250 by the end of 2009

This week’s mantra: Turn around and get pointed in the right direction.

Grateful for: A blissfully uneventful procedure on Wednesday. Aside from trouble with the IV and a 3-hour wait on the gurney, after 6 pricks, 2 hematomas, and struggling to wake up from the general anesthesia just to sloppily demand, “But, do I get to go home this time?” all seems well. My duct injury and liver bile leak have healed better than they expected, they did NOT have to re-place a new stent on the duct, and I have been sent on my merry way for now. I’ve slept off the anesthesia and my throat and voice are nearly back to full functionality (the procedure was endoscopic — a tube through the throat to the intestines). All in all, it is the best possible outcome for the time being.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds (well, that was my 2/2008 weight)
Last week: 287.2
This week: 281.4
Change this week: -5.8
Total change: -73.2
Next milestone: 80 pounds gone (I already crossed the 75-pound milestone when I weighed after getting home from the hospital).
Current goal: 275 by Valentine’s Day, 227 by the end of 2009

This week’s mantra: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Grateful for: Friends, family, projects, creativity, my dogs, and my habit of re-orienting and re-focusing myself in autumn rather than at the New Year.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 274.8
This week: 279.6
Change this week: +4.8
Total change: -75.0
Next milestone: 80 pounds gone
Current goal: Maintain under 289 by year end, 275 by Valentine’s Day

This week’s mantra: This is the week for renewal.

Important note: I now understand how dangerous it is to achieve goals without having a new goal. It’s like telling the universe, “Thanks for all the help — but I feel like stalling out now.” So, my next goal will be to weigh under 275 by Valentine’s Day. This makes me seem like a real under-achiever, but consider this. Sometime in the next month I will have major surgery, and I assume my recovery will not include vigorous exercise or even hours of standing in the kitchen, cooking. Also, I’d like to make it through the holidays without having a major diet meltdown. It is still my goal to weigh under 289 pounds by the end of 2008 and under 275 by Valentine’s Day. I promise to adjust these numbers as needed, but I’d rather adjust them down than up.

Grateful for: having a computer again. Last night, I got my geek on and replaced my hard drive. I still haven’t tried to restore the backup of my personal weight spreadsheet (with handy-dandy charts!) but I will do that later today. Looks like I will be able to post more frequently again!

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 291.4
This week: 288.8
Change this week: -2.6
Total change: -65.8
Next milestone: 70 pounds gone
Current goal: 275 by Valentine’s Day

This week’s mantra: “Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Grateful for: learning how to roll with the punches. This post is being back-dated, because my computer died and I wasn’t able to post on Saturday. Fortunately, I was able to weigh-in. What will I do if my Tanita dies? KNOCK ON WOOD!

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 293.2
This week: 291.4
Change this week: -1.8
Total change: -63.2
Next milestone: 65 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: Roll with it, and then let it roll off your back.

Grateful for: my mom’s birthday gift — that she was willing to take time out of a business trip to come to my apartment and help me tailor and alter my 11 pairs of suits and work pants. I have invested in some nice business clothes over the years — and all of my size 28 trousers are falling off my hips after losing over 60 pounds. The average amount that has been removed from the waistband of these pants, so far, is 5.5″. Someday, I’ll actually buy new clothes, but I’m grateful to her for buying me some time and saving me some cash.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 292.8
This week: 293.2
Change this week: +0.4
Total change: -61.4
Next milestone: 65 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: Celebrate yourself.

Now that I’ve lost some weight, and the Problem of Pants is becoming much more troublesome, I’m working to stitch and alter my clothes until I can afford new ones. Re-enter The Belt. A year and a half ago, I declared the belt as a progress goal — hoping that I could someday buckle it, even just to the first hole. Well, a few weeks ago, feeling utterly frustrated by the Problem of Pants, I pulled the belt out and cinched it up. To my surprise, it not only buckled, it buckled at the fifth hole.

Before picture here.

After:

Grateful for: The power of writing. I’m beginning to think that writing things down is the most important step between dreaming and achieving. Writing things down takes bold daring, courage, and moxie. It invites success into my life.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 294.2
This week: 292.8
Change this week: -1.4
Total change: -61.8
Next milestone: 65 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: Let the storm blow all around you. If you cannot move forward, drop your anchor and just stay pointed in the right direction.

Last night, as we perched on the edge of my bed, my ex quietly absorbed the reality of my “new” arm shape. He said, kindly stroking his fingers along the fleshy parts, “It’s coming off nicely, isn’t it?” I had to laugh, because the phrase struck me as sweet and a little strange. Like something you might hear from a plumber, or a barber. I wish I could see it the way he does. Yes, the scale blows mathematical sunshine up my bum at 5-pound intervals, but the visible evidence of change is so slight and so slow.

“You don’t spread out right here the way you used to,” he muses, pointing to a certain spot on my hips when we relax on the bed. His words are drenched with true affection and care, so it’s hard to feel any sting in them. He assures me that my back, arms, hips, and even knees look slimmer than they ever have. I had to point out to him, with a sigh, that so do my boobs. He just smiled his genuine smile and said, “But isn’t it kind of exciting? You’re getting a whole new body!”

This alternate perspective means a lot to me, as I still have over 100 pounds to lose. It’s a little bit surreal I have resigned myself to being so big for so long. But, as I tune into the little signs of change — the arm-shaped arms and the emerging ankles — I hope to better acknowledge the non-scale victories just as much as I enjoy pushing toward that 5-pound mark every week.