Chronicles of a Late Bloomer

Celebrating: 40 pounds gone

Grateful for: living in a body that knows how to heal itself.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 312.0
This week: 311.4
Change this week: -0.6
Total change: -43.2
Next milestone: 45 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: put the so-called energy bar down and back away from the table.

Because I have so much weight to lose, it generally takes a while before people visibly register the changes in my size and shape. Historically, it takes about 40 pounds (or, over 10% of my body weight) before people start to ask if I’ve changed my hair or bought a new blouse. What they really mean is, “You look thinner,” but at my massive size, their brains still have a problem using any variation of the word “thin” to describe me. One good friend asked me if I were sick or had been screened for cancer after I lost that magical, noticeable amount of weight. It took some doing, but I was able to eventually take that as a compliment.

It’s confusing for my viewers because really, I’m not thin. I’m just thinnER. Still, when I realized a few weeks ago that I had achieved my 40-pound and 10% goal, I knew it was time for people to start noticing. And, notice they have — to the tune of 8 people just last week.

Last night, my ex and I were sorting through some old photos and came across one that was taken when he came home with me last Christmas. We both gasped in shock. Somehow, me weighing 360-some-odd pounds had been lost on us, back then. There we sat in the photo, smiling at the camera, and I at well over twice his size. I was a cascade of chins and dimples and folds.

No, I’m not implying that I look dramatically better today, but the difference was so noticeable that we talked about it, off and on, for the bulk of the evening. He was particularly baffled. He just couldn’t figure out how all of that extra weight had gone unnoticed by him. (I knew why — and it’s the reason that I stayed with him so long.)

All of this is to say that people are starting to notice.

Celebrating: 5.6 BMI points and 12% of my “starting” weight gone!

Grateful for: always having room for improvement.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 313.6
This week: 312.0
Change this week: -1.6
Total change: -42.6
Next milestone: 45 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: Losing weight is nice, sure, but let’s focus on fitness.

Celebrating: 40 pounds gone!

Grateful for: having my internet access back this week.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 315.0
This week: 313.6
Change this week: -1.4
Total change: -41.0
Next milestone: 45 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: As silly as it sounds, this week I want to focus on FITNESS and FLOSSING. (Of course, this morning I had a little waxing-at-home accident which also means that the words ALOE VERA and RAW SKIN IN AWFUL PLACES are going to figure in prominently, too.)

Celebrating: Recovery from medical emergencies.

Grateful for: Eggs. I dunno, I just feel affectionate toward their protein-y, yellow-y, jiggle-y goodness today.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 325.8
This week: 315.0
Change this week: -10.8
Total change: -39.6
Next milestone: 40 pounds gone (just 0.4 pounds away!)

This week’s mantra: 10 pounds? Man, that was a big cyst.

My favorite brother was in town this weekend to help me work on a video project. Naturally, I tried to stay with my “mostly right” line of food choices and accepted the fact that entertaining my brother would likely result in a small gain on the scale.

So, you can imagine my surprise when, on Saturday — a mere halfway through his visit — I stepped up and found that I had gained over 8 pounds. I was all the way up to 325.8, in spite of being “mostly” on track. Ouch.

The double (quintuple) ouch came Sunday afternoon, about 2 hours after I took him to the airport and said goodbye. My ex-boyfriend was over and we had a nice healthy salad lunch at our favorite cafe. Then, as we settled onto the couch, I said, “Man, my tummy hurts. Maybe I ate too much salad.”

Well, the pain gradually worsened until I doubled over, held my stomach, groaned, and said, “Maybe food poisoning?”

Of course, I hadn’t eaten tomatoes or jalapenos at lunch, and the pain just kept coming. I broke into a sweat that quickly soaked through my hair and clothing and made it look like I had just sprung, fully-clothed, from a refreshing shower. It didn’t take long for me to soak the couch and render it unusable, while I writhed and moaned in pain. The ex, while sweet and very helpful, was obviously freaking out. I’d seen the look before — the “trying to be supportive but scared out of his mind” look. The last time I saw it, I was already on my way to the emergency room.

I knew exactly what was happening — and going to the emergency room wouldn’t help. It was an ovarian cyst rupture, and there was nothing to do but wait it out. Ex-boyfriend stood over me, fanning me with a hand towel and alternating telling me funny stories with giving words of gentle support.

Then, as I knew from previous experience that it would, the pain suddenly subsided. It took about 20 minutes to go from a 10 down to a 7, which is apparently the pain level where I still hurt, but not so much that I’m incapable of crying. The tears came, then, in a great flood, adding to the soaked-through sweat of everything. It was over.

Now, two days later, my weight is back down under 320. I can’t help but attribute the killer gain and loss to whatever monster ovarian cyst chose to squat in my innards and then, finding the accommodations inadequate, blew out of there like a tumorous Hindenberg. We’ll see how this week’s weigh-in goes, but I have a feeling that all will be right with the world again.

Celebrating: No trip to the emergency room this week.

Grateful for: The sheer luck of not being alone when my innards erupted.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 318.2
This week: 325.8
Change this week: +8.6
Total change: -28.8
Next milestone: complete recovery from medical trauma.

This week’s mantra: Next time, bring more towels.

Celebrating: 35 pounds (and 10% of starting weight) gone

Grateful for: my 2 wonderful dogs, so that I don’t wake up alone during a week like this.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 318.2
This week: 317.2
Change this week: -1.0
Total change: -37.4
Next milestone: 40 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: Every muscle I stretch (both figurative and literal) makes me stronger.

Celebrating: 35 pounds gone (and 30 pounds gone, too)

Grateful for: alternative coping mechanisms

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 326.4
This week: 318.2
Change this week: -8.2
Total change: -36.4
Next milestone: 40 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: Stay on target. It’s going to be a rough week.

Celebrating: 25 pounds gone (still)

Grateful for: losing a little weight, even though the dreaded PMS has yet to deliver on its promises.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 329.2
This week: 326.4
Change this week: -2.8
Total change: -28.2
Next milestone: 30 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: Migraines cannot stop me.

Celebrating: 25 pounds gone

Grateful for: hormones that are thoughtful enough to peak on a semi-consistent basis.

Starting weight: 354.6 pounds
Last week: 327.4
This week: 329.2
Change this week: +1.8
Total change: -25.4
Next milestone: 30 pounds gone

This week’s mantra: It is the behavioral, not the numerical changes that matter from week to week.