Crisis of Motivation
This week culminated in a pure crisis of motivation yesterday morning when, around 7:00, I suddenly decided I just wasn’t going to work out. I just couldn’t.
photo credit: ant.photos
This came hot on the heels of Wednesday night’s slump (Oh, I’m so tired — I can’t do more than 20 minutes of cardio…) and certainly has psychological and physical ties to Tuesday night, when I couldn’t fall asleep until about 2:00 a.m.
I’ll probably get into details leading up to the crisis, and the emotions involved (I am a therapist after all), but for now it’s enough to know that the crisis was diverted from becoming much bigger.
Here are the steps from my Preparation Stage that I drew upon to identify and head off the problem as soon as I was able:
- 1.4: Self-talk and visualization
- 1.5: Set my focus
- 1.7: Journaling
- 2.4: Sleep schedule
- 4.1: Select a few supportive friends to be my safety net (and reached out to them)
Active steps I took to prevent the problem from becoming bigger:
- Mentioned my concerns to Supportive Female Friend, even though we didn’t have enough time to really talk about it.
- Called Supportive Male Friend, left a message saying I needed him and to please call me back ASAP.
- Reviewed my focus, my journal, and my visualizing.
- Arranged to get an extra hour of sleep last night.
Here are the results from the steps I took:
- Supportive Male Friend called back and let me open up, admit my mistakes, and express my fears and concerns. He talked about his experiences (he also exercises 2 hours/day — enjoys walking to and from work) with motivation and asked hard questions. I didn’t shy away from the questions, which I’m proud of, because they stung a bit. In the end, he was right. How much do I want this, anyway?
- Supportive Female Friend called this morning at 6:20 to offer support and make sure I was exercising. Even though we hadn’t had a chance to get into details about anything yesterday, she was still loving enough to follow up and show her support. That was pretty amazing.
- I set a new focus based on these conversations and then got back to work.
What’s fascinating to me is that last night, for the first time, someone outside of my support network mentioned to me that I looked thin. Timing is everything.
February 19th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
I’m so glad you had such a great support network to turn to. I think you are also helping a lot of people with a post like this — sometimes we all have setbacks, and our reaction to them does make a big difference.
February 23rd, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Thanks, Jen. For me it was really important to have set some props in place before the crisis hit!
February 24th, 2010 at 9:28 am
Hi—I’m a first-time commenter, but I just wanted to let you know that I’ve read your entire archive in the past twenty-four hours and am rooting for you hard. I can relate to a lot of your life experience, and am sending empathy and motivation your way. I wanted also to tell you too how compelling your writing is as writing—you have such an appealing voice.
February 24th, 2010 at 9:52 am
Mollie — I’m very flattered. Look forward to more interactions with you. Thank you!
February 25th, 2010 at 6:33 am
What a great entry! I don’t have too many friends to call when I’m sad or upset, but I do like painting and writing. I like talking to my boyfriend, but he doesn’t get the fat-girl part of me that I need another female friend to be able to understand. I like how you listed action steps, which is something I do in my blog to help myself and others. Thanks!
February 25th, 2010 at 8:04 am
@Dehlia: I hear you. I specifically set up some failsafes because I knew I would be having hard days. I also journal and paint and such, so I’m glad to hear that works for you, too!
February 25th, 2010 at 8:47 am
Like Mollie, I am a first time commenter and a couple months ago I read your entire archives. I also think you have a great way of communicating your trials, keep it up!
I’m a huge fan of Biggest Loser and was really interested in seeing how you made out using Dr H’s diet. Considering how excellent both the “Blue” and “Yellow” teams did when they came back this season I know that it can be done at home. Sometimes I just need to motivate my mind to believe that.
I just wanted to let you know that you have a fan in Pa. I’m cheering you on and hope you’ve refound your motivation!
February 25th, 2010 at 10:59 am
Thanks so much, Deb. Your kind comment means a lot. Indeed my motivation crisis seems to have passed. I’m so happy I put those failsafes in place. I’ll post again soon to catch everyone up. One of the problems with this program is there isn’t much time to do anything other than eat, sleep, exercise, and work! Even blog!? Ah, well. More soon.
April 1st, 2010 at 9:35 am
Just wanted to let you know I’m still checking in. I hope that the reasons you haven’t posted are because you are soooo busy with Dr. H’s program. Keep up the good work and have a terrific Easter weekend. We here in Central Pa are expecting weather in the upper70’s and lower 80’s, if that’s not enough to give you Spring Fever I don’t know what is! If you have a second let us know how you are doing.
April 1st, 2010 at 10:44 am
Mal.. Wow! I just caught back up. And so much great insight. THANK YOU for sharing the journey. I too hope that the lull in the posts is due to self care! I’ve order the good doctor’s book and will be reviewing it this weekend. I’ve had a bit of crisis of confidence these past few months. but, am slowly clawing back. So, thanks for ONCE AGAIN reminding me that this seems to be a natural rhythm and learning how to roll with it may just be the secret. Happy spring and all the various holidays that fall in these weeks.
April 3rd, 2010 at 11:42 am
I am still checking in very regularly
and wanted to say –
hope you have a very peaceful Easter weekend.
April 22nd, 2010 at 5:15 am
I have four of you (disappeared bloggers) on my blog read list, all clustered together.
The last posting dates are 1/2/09, 7/14/09, 11/27/09 and 2/19/10 for each of you respectively.
I wonder about each of you.
But I am confident, of the four, you will be back again.
May 4th, 2010 at 5:41 am
Come back we miss you!
May 9th, 2010 at 7:21 am
Happy Mother’s Day! Still checking in with you!
May 10th, 2010 at 11:42 am
I dreamt of you last night. I hope you are doing okay! And, remember… pretty sure that the vast majority of your readers have worn your exact shoes. So, we’re around. And, cheering you on. Sarah
May 24th, 2010 at 5:31 am
just wanted to let you know i was thinking about you and hope you’re doing well. miss hearing from you.
May 29th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
checking in – thought you might have time to post over the holiday weekend – very quiet around here – husband and son gone – girls at friends – our pool is closed due to technical problems (maybe the pump not sure) so not what we had planned.
July 9th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Will you ever come back?
I just wanted to let you know that you were very inspirational to me and got me off my sofa and back onto my treadmill when I thought it was totally impossible. My back was aching, my knees were creeking, it was miserable outside and I was miserable inside.
Can I help you somehow?
July 13th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Mal.. have been thinking so much about you. I hope you are okay. And, you do know that no matter what shape, form, mood, etc… we think of you. Your writing inspires me…but also I hope, your readers support you. So, even if only a little piece… drop us a line and let us know how you are…and if you are well.. AWESOME. And if you need us… We’re here. And, if you want us to go away.. I’m sure we won’t..but we’ll try to understand. In it for the long haul. Sarah
September 2nd, 2010 at 7:18 am
Still thinking of you. I hope things are going okay and I hope that you’ll start posting here again someday. Your writing about weight loss and all it involves is so powerful and insightful.
I’ve started a new weight loss type blog under an alias. Go ahead and email me if you’d like the link to where it is.
September 22nd, 2010 at 5:02 am
new season of TBL started last night. and I wondered if you had tried to participate, I knew you had other seasons. I wasn’t sure if I could watch. I couldn’t watch Jillian’s new show earlier in the summer, the dysfunction of the parents descending on the kids was WAY too much for me. And when they said TBL was traveling around to different towns, I was afraid it would have the same approach, but it didn’t.
I wonder if you see this little notes that we leave for you from time to time? Or do you avoid the whole site?
December 19th, 2010 at 7:15 am
feeling like a bit of a stalker as I seem to be the only one ‘left’ here.
dropping you a note to say ‘happy holidays’.
it would be a very nice present indeed to have you post a note to say how you are doing. you are just a couple months shy of your 1 year mark of missing blogger status.
December 29th, 2010 at 4:57 am
Vickie… you aren’t the only one left… I too stop by… with breath held and fingers crossed.
Mal… I/we think of you often and hope you are well. You are missed. And, I agree with Vickie..it would be a lovely present indeed to know how you are. I still read some of your posts when I need to poke around in my own head. I hope you know that no matter where you are… you aren’t judged nor will you disappoint. I just want to know how you are. And, for you to know that you matter to us. Happy New Year.
Sarah
January 4th, 2011 at 5:16 am
hope the new year finds you well
January 20th, 2011 at 10:28 am
Come back Mal… I suspect there are others just lurking, waiting, hoping to hear how you are doing. You are missed.
August 23rd, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Still hoping that this time I’ll find you have stopped by. Thinking of you
October 31st, 2011 at 1:32 pm
still hoping….