Return of the binge
Bullet points today. This might be a new trend as my thoughts seem to be coming in chunks.
- I was indeed able to maintain my weight under 289 for many months, and then I made the decision to travel to my parents’ house and help my mom sort through her secret, hoarded stash of fabric and art supplies.
That’s when the world exploded.
I binged my way back up to 300 pounds.
Boom.
- I have come to an important realization. It is no coincidence that I lost nearly 80 pounds during a year when I did not visit home. Not even for Christmas. I need to do more soul-searching about this, but it’s a big realization.
- My ex playfully grabbed my boob the other day and was startled. “Wow. Your breasts are really big right now.” Well, 25 pounds has to go somewhere, I replied. “Then I’d better enjoy them while I can!”
- Although I had temporarily stopped my involvement on dating sites until I could get through my recent stuff, there’s a new man match.com that I’ve been wanting to meet. He finally emailed me on my last day at my parents’ house, and is interested in meeting sometime soon. I wish he had started answering back my emails before I gained 25 pounds, but hey. Maybe he won’t care. (Yeah, right.)
- Feeling sort of fat and ungainly. Feeling better than I was 2 weeks ago (now that the family and work fallout is dying down), but still feeling pretty off-kilter.
- I didn’t attend my regular WW meeting on Saturday due to July 4th. I reached out to my WW leader via email yesterday. She hasn’t written back, but maybe she will before the end of the week?
Hope so.
I need all the support I can get right now.
July 7th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Well, first, I hope you know that regardless of the number, we’re glad you’re back. And, I think we probably have all visited certain dream numbers far more times than we’d like. So, you are NOT alone. That said… congrats on the redirection. And the fresh new site. And may working back to and through the number be slightly easier this time. As to the family stuff… let me know what you figure out. You might just have the answer to the zillion dollar question on that one!
July 7th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Girl…meet the man from match.com! If he has a problem with the extra 25 pounds, then he’s not the man for you!!!! Because you are worth having a man that loves you no matter what you weigh!!!
July 7th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I’m so glad that you’re back. My weight journey has been very similar to yours- I started at roughly the same weight that you did- and have found that the only thing that works is to keep on keepin’ on. Go you! (And if you need more support, we’re here!)
July 8th, 2009 at 4:49 am
you don’t start over – you just begin again from where you are.
hugs