Noticeable
Because I have so much weight to lose, it generally takes a while before people visibly register the changes in my size and shape. Historically, it takes about 40 pounds (or, over 10% of my body weight) before people start to ask if I’ve changed my hair or bought a new blouse. What they really mean is, “You look thinner,” but at my massive size, their brains still have a problem using any variation of the word “thin” to describe me. One good friend asked me if I were sick or had been screened for cancer after I lost that magical, noticeable amount of weight. It took some doing, but I was able to eventually take that as a compliment.
It’s confusing for my viewers because really, I’m not thin. I’m just thinnER. Still, when I realized a few weeks ago that I had achieved my 40-pound and 10% goal, I knew it was time for people to start noticing. And, notice they have — to the tune of 8 people just last week.
Last night, my ex and I were sorting through some old photos and came across one that was taken when he came home with me last Christmas. We both gasped in shock. Somehow, me weighing 360-some-odd pounds had been lost on us, back then. There we sat in the photo, smiling at the camera, and I at well over twice his size. I was a cascade of chins and dimples and folds.
No, I’m not implying that I look dramatically better today, but the difference was so noticeable that we talked about it, off and on, for the bulk of the evening. He was particularly baffled. He just couldn’t figure out how all of that extra weight had gone unnoticed by him. (I knew why — and it’s the reason that I stayed with him so long.)
All of this is to say that people are starting to notice.
July 28th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Congratulations on the weight loss – AND – the fact that people are noticing! I totally understand when you say that it takes a more significant weight loss for it to register to people. I guess it’s all about perceptions. But you know what? A loss, is a loss, is a loss, is a loss. You’ve come a long way and it’s awesome, keep up the good work! … and more people are going to notice, trust me!
:) Elisa
July 29th, 2008 at 8:12 am
We have the same conversation at my house – not about my weight (maintenance for 2 years now and “this me” is now the “normal me”) – but about my crazies. I use that word for its simplicity. My therapist hates it.
When I was at/in my most dysfunctional state – in many ways – it was the “then normal” me. It wasn’t until things started to get better – that we all realized just how bad they were. And I still need my therapist’s perspective to sort of figure out how balanced I am. It is like I am a compass and am too near the poles. My arrow twirls/spins around a lot and my therapist helps me figure out where north is.
July 29th, 2008 at 8:15 am
And you are very smart to recognize the whole people comments thing. And it is funny how that goes – in the beginning I think many of us are eager for feedback. And I think that many of us go through spells where we are so immersed in the food/exericise thing that it dominates our lives/thoughts/conversations. And then I think many of us hit a spell where we get TIRED of people commenting – and just want to even things out a bit. I think that one of the true signs of maintenance is when everyone forgets what size we were and the new us is the normal us. It takes a while – but eventually does happen.
July 29th, 2008 at 8:17 am
I am so pleased that you are posting more regularly – I missed you when you were gone.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:35 am
I know exactly what you mean! I sit and stare at old pictures and I’m just in awe that I let myself get to that point and didn’t seem to notice!
As for people taking so long to notice. I’ve discovered that some of it is because people are afraid to comment. IF they comment on how good you look in conjunction with weight loss, they feel as if they are implying that you didn’t look good then. People are also afraid to make comments until it is SOOOO utterly glaringly obvious for fear or offending us. And yes, these are things that people have told me AFTER i’d lost tons of weight and they are no longer afraid to comment and to tell me why they didn’t comment for such a long time!
July 29th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
sorry i have not been around in a while.. my mom passed away 2 weeks ago today and I have been in a bit of an abyss. wanted to congradulate you on your weight loss great job.
and it is wonderful when people notice.. I am working on getting back on track.. its hard but I know it will be worth it..
July 30th, 2008 at 9:28 am
I’m so glad things are going so well for you–keep up the good work!
Think what fantastic “before” pictures they will make . . . .
July 31st, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Congratulations on your weight loss, I also have a long way to go. I have 370lbs (lost 10lbs) and my goal is to reach 220lbs. So probably I will be checking your blog and we can celebrate our losses :)
Take care and keep the good job.
August 4th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Congrats on getting “thinnER.” And isn’t it nice when people start to notice. I have a hard time not grinning ear to ear. Enjoy!