Nothing more than feelings

Vickie, on a previous post, reminded me about the importance of momentum when you are working toward a goal. Then, she asked:

It sounds as if you are feeling empowered. do you feel that way???

I don’t know if I would have used the word “empowered” to describe this whole process so far. I would say that I’m feeling relieved. I mean, I of course know how to behave in order to maximize my health, but for whatever reason I have rarely been able to do it. Consequently, I feel clear-headed and grateful each time I am able to, say, eat sensibly or strap on my walking shoes.

More often than not, the struggles and issues of my life feel much more complex than they feel today. Whether it’s true or not, there is a cleanness and simplicity to my current sense that x plus y equals z in the battle for my health.

I don’t know what elements had to combine — what chemical reaction occurred — to spur me back into action. I don’t think I could duplicate the magical formula on my own, but I feel grateful and glad.

And, it’s not a struggle, yet. I feel calm, and open. I don’t need the unhealthy habits the way I have before. I wake up in time to pack a healthy lunch. I watch the Daily Show and use the treadmill when I get home. I fill up my time with other things than eating and lazing about.

Am I empowered? If I feel empowered by anything, it’s by the love and support of those around me. I feel empowered by a love for myself and a genuine care for my own well-being. I feel hopeful.

3 Comments

  1. vickie said,

    June 6, 2008 at 5:14 am

    Hope is good.

    I remember someone asking me if I felt “happy” - and I remember saying that I wasn’t thinking of happy - that I wasn’t even trying for happy - I was trying for EVEN.

    And EVEN is good too.

  2. MaryFran said,

    June 6, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    I don’t think empowered would the right word for it. I think pride would be the way I would describe how I feel. When I’m on top of my game with eating and exercise I feel such a pride in myself that I simply hold my head higher.

  3. G.G. said,

    June 6, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    I felt the EXACT same way last year–it was like an unfathomable gift from heaven–smoother sailing after years of fog and choppy seas.

    Ride that feeling–hope it stays with you!

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