Paging Dr. Love
I’m on the couch, crying. It’s a weeknight so we’re relegated to the phone and he hates it when I cry. “How could I have responded better to this?” he asks. He’s sincere, but there is a hint of frustration. “What did you want me to say?” I think for a long time before answering. “I guess I hoped you would say, Great. What’s your plan? I’ll figure out how to help you follow whatever plan you choose. Not, Unless you do it my way, I can’t accept it.” “I don’t know if I can do that,” he sighs. I know....
Read MoreAs a team
At his request, I’ll be bringing my boyfriend home to meet my family this Christmas. I was surprised when he brought it up; on TV, the boyfriends always dread meeting the family and do so grudgingly. Also, on TV, there is a canned laughter track when the boyfriend disagrees with pop on politics and mom on religion and offers to milk the cat. The man set about memorizing my family tree on our third date — and that’s when I knew he would be staying for a while. But, no amount of explaining to him what it’s like to be in a house with my 6 siblings, their spouses and...
Read MoreEasy come, easy go
I get into QZ’s car so that we can go to the Felt Club show downtown. “I have a goal,” I announce. She looks a little doubtful, and who can blame her? I sheepishly cough up some caveats. “Well, I mean, it might not be my goal tomorrow, but it is my goal today.” “Proceed,” she encourages, but haltingly. “I am going to lose 40 pounds before my PhD interviews.” “And when are those?” Now, she’s checking her rear-view mirrors. A lot. “In about 4 months.” “4?” I stop. I actually count on my fingers....
Read MoreA U-turn
Either the scale was wrong last week or I have lost over 13 pounds in the past 5 days. True, I have been eating better than before (though not perfectly) and have tried to get more sleep, walk the dogs more frequently, and take better care of myself in general. But maybe it’s just indicative of how much weight was lifted off my shoulders when I was offered the new job. Maybe it was just the relief of knowing that things will be different now. Something that I’ve been carrying around deep inside of me seemed to pop to the surface and wisp away into the air. Still, there’s...
Read MoreInsomnia
A major change in direction, a sudden surge of goodwill toward the world and all mankind, a return of interest in my own thoughts, and I sit up, wide awake, at 3:15 a.m. I let the puppy out to potty so she can sleep longer and then pull a stack of pages into bed. I have a midnight clarity about the article that has been accepted for publication. I recline comfortably, curled up with the snoring dogs, and make long red strokes through unnecessary paragraphs. I draw arrows and circle key phrases. Shift this, flip that, this section is unclear — go back and work it until it makes sense...
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