Chronicles of a Late Bloomer

The unheralded arrival of my period this week, a full 8 days late, and the coinciding drop of 3+ pounds from my daily weight, have reminded me of some questions and thoughts that I’ve had for a long time regarding weight loss and gender.

I mean, I find it kind of amazing that, for 10 (or more, in this case) days of the month, my body is totally and utterly hijacked by a complex biological function. This function is beautiful, miraculous, ancient, mysterious, feminine, tidal, and blah blah blah… but the fact is that for a huge chunk of my life, it doesn’t matter what I eat. It doesn’t matter how much I do (or do not) exercise. No amount of drinking water, counting calories, or eschewing refined flours can budge the scale downward. Rather, I gain weight steadily. Sigh. Step off the scale. Keep on trucking.

Then, at the end of the jolt, the pounds drop off. Equally quickly. Sometimes (depending on how well I have fended off cravings), the scale dips slightly lower than it dipped before my period sent out its advance scouts. Sometimes not. Then, I get about 3 good weeks of eating right, exercising, and seeing some progress before the Hormones attack again.

What I’m trying to say is that the better I get to know my body and what happens to it from day to day, the more aggrivated I get by the traditional “eat less, move more” mythology. I don’t think it works that way for women — it certainly doesn’t seem to for me. I think it is a construct of the male-dominated collective, and the feminist in me snarls back from her dark corner.

As we know, the tradition of Western Medicine was largely founded and perpetuated by Old White Guys. These guys found a formula (and oh, how Old White Guys love formulas!) for weight loss: expend more energy than you consume. What a formula! It is as simple as it is obvious! It’s practically a couplet, and might as well rhyme for how it is memorized by school chlidren and housewives: Eat Less; Move More. For Old White Guys, it works perfectly. Almost every time.

The problem I keep coming back to is this: beyond the obvious accoutrements, men’s and women’s bodies are so different. We have different plumbing, chemicals, hormones, chromosomes. We have different functions, really. Purposes. Roles. People generally accept that, in general, even our brains are built differently, with complementary learning styles and strengths. The expectation that a simple weight loss equation could work so simply for both genders is really kind of ludicrous. To get depressed, disappointed, or to give up because our bodies aren’t responding like good little robots is natural, maybe, but unenlightened.

I’m thinking of examples from my real- and internet-lives that illustrate this well. How about Fred and Robin? I used to read both of their blogs religiously. I became discouraged, however, when it was clear that they were living similar lifestyles, yet Fred was losing weight and Robin wasn’t. Robin was exercising daily, taking 5-plus-mile walks, routinely recording what she ate, trying different programs, etc. They each indulged in one “free day” per week. And yet, Robin’s weight stalled. It soon became painful to read. She’d try new things. She’d increase her exercise. She’d decrease her intake. She’d give up the fight for a while and then she’d come back. She went to the doctor. She got sick, and got well. She tried thyroid meds and merrily bitched along. She continued to live her life, yes, but you couldn’t help but wonder — how hard was it to crawl in bed every night with someone who seemed to just eat less and move more?¹ Now, she is post-op and has lost half her body weight, but without the surgery, no amount of genuinely Eating Less and Moving More worked for her. It worked like a charm for her husband, though.

So, we hobble along. Some of us hobble along better than others, but even our big heroines (I mean, have you ever seen PastaQueen’s chart? Maintain, maintain, maintain, LOSE. Maintain, maintain, maintain, LOSE.) don’t seem to be falling into the “simple math” category. I’m thinking of certain other bloggers (Marla, Debbi, and others…) who are doing everything “right” and their bodies refuse to release weight. Maybe there are examples of men who have the same struggle, but I haven’t seen them.

For me, the math is somewhat more complicated. I have PCOS, and have for over 15 years. My body’s hormones, insulin, and other chemicals are all out of whack and I have to respect that, if I intend to live more healthily and build fitness. I see so many women experience a little hiccup in the system, set goals beyond their control and not reach them, and go through a period of maintenance or even gain. Often, women get frustrated, give up, and blame themselves for not being able to do the simple math. We eat less and move more, and we don’t always lose weight. Something must be fundamentally wrong with us, right?

Generally, we act as though our bodies should function as some sort of calorie bank — we want to make deposits and withdrawals and be able to balance the checkbook at the end of the month. All I’m saying is, maybe it doesn’t always work that way, in spite of what the Old White Guys say.

I, for my part, am going to give in to the wonderful, ancient, mysterious experience of living in a body made up of estrogen and ovaries and sugar and spice. I’m going to just keep nurturing myself and stop expecting my body to have read all of the textbooks. I’m going to fault the system, instead of myself, when my body doesn’t comply with Their rules. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel, why shouldn’t my body, too?

1. Note: I’m sure Robin would be the first to tell you, in her characteristically and wonderfully brash and honest way, that it was just fine and dandy thankyouverymuch… I’m mostly just talking about my own personal thoughts and reactions here. I’d have been pissed. [↩]