Breaking up
February 6th, 2007 at 9:18 pm (Physical)
Is it wrong to enter a serious relationship with someone knowing beforehand that your ultimate ambition will be to end the relationship? Is it okay to make a commitment that you intend to someday break? To, in essence, use someone temporarily until your need for them has passed?
No, I’m not talking about my boyfriend, the charming Record Store Romeo.
I’m talking about Weight Watchers.
I’ll be the first to say I truly needed Weight Watchers when I first joined over two years ago. As a compulsive and frequent binge eater, I had no sense of portions, of regulating myself, or of meting out nutritional logic from one day to the next. I suppose I had the vague notion that eating 3 extra value meals each time I went through a McDonald’s drive-through was not good for me, but I didn’t know how to prevent it from happening from day to day (and sometimes 3 times in a day). I had never made a concerted effort to (a) stop bingeing or (b) eat like a normal person instead of bingeing.
So, yes. I’ve gotten something out of my time at Weight Watchers (and the 4 years of intervening psychotherapy), but I never intended for that time to extend forever and ever amen, or even until I reached an ersatz “goal weight.” Partly, this is because my imagined goal weight and what I assume Weight Watchers will set as my goal weight are two different beasts entirely.
But also, I have always seen the relationship as short-term because of cognitive dissonance over the idea of paying someone, over the long term, to do things that I can do myself. I also scrub my own toilets and wash my own hair, if you must know.
I’m happy to pay a fee for knowledge. I’m glad to pay for services rendered — even for the luxury of having someone else prescribe an eating plan which will, if followed, theoretically allow me to lose weight. But, if I were to follow the South Beach plan, that cost would involve, at the very most, a $24.95 cost for the book and, at the very least, a library membership and a short wait. After that any additional cost would be up to me. Period. Fin.
Things I have learned from Weight Watchers:
- Approximate-yet-realistic portion sizes.
- How to live with a plan wherein you can neither bank extras from one day to the next nor borrow too heavily from tomorrow.
- The importance of accountability.
- A simple-yet-not-too-simple method for evaluating the relative nutritional value of one food vs. another food.
- How to indulge without breaking the bank.
- The smaller-than-expected amount of food that I really need to subsist in relative comfort and ease.
Things which I feel I no longer really need:
- Meetings. The Twins. Jeff, the annoying guy who sits in the back row and graces us with a self-composed rap every week. Whining. Clapping. The whole meeting she-bang.
- Stupid slogans.
- Leaders. (Sorry, I just don’t feel all that inspired by them.)
- Products. Products. Products. (Which lead to selling. Selling. Selling.)
- Weekly weigh-ins. (More on this later.)
I’ve been cobbling together a plan based on what I’ve taken from Weight Watchers, what I’ve learned from other sources, and what I think I can accomplish on my own. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I will end up eating these words, figuratively and literally. Maybe so, but for now I’m afraid this is the beginning of the end and breaking up is hard to do.
metamorphose said,
February 7, 2007 at 11:51 pm
You so clever.
I think any actual program should be just that -to give you what you need to know, and then let you move on, sending you out on your own. You’re already doing it on your own anyway, right? You’re the once making the conscious choices -you’re still the one deciding what’s going in your body.
Meetings sound a little overrated -of course, I can’t really say much being I haven’t been to a WW’s meeting. Still, I think when you know it’s time to break it off, you should follow your instinct.
lisa jane said,
February 8, 2007 at 2:00 am
I think weight watchers is a croc but I think you are wonderful!!!!and so funny ;)
Zanitta said,
February 8, 2007 at 3:05 am
I hope your own plan works for you. That was the problem I genereally have with weight watchers, I don’t think I’m the meeting kind of person. But then, I can’t stay on the plan when I’m not forcing myself through the meetings either, and you have to pay for meetings you missed. It’s an expensive way to feel ashamed of myself.
the veggie paparazzo said,
February 8, 2007 at 8:45 am
I know you can do it without Weight Watchers if you trust yourself and keep your health always in mind. I know you can.
Sarah said,
February 8, 2007 at 10:59 am
Amen!
I lost weight without going to meeting for more then 2.5 years. I thought joining a meeting would give me the last little push I needed to lose the weight. I feel the meetings were almost counterproductive for me. The ladies, while supportive were all older then me among other things.
I think it is ok to stop going to WW as long as you stay accountable to yourself. It already sounds like you know what you need to do =)
metamorphose said,
February 8, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Another thing -when my mom wanted to offer me some incentive to lose weight -(she was so sick of me complaining about it all the time, heh heh) -she offered to either give me $500 for new clothes, or to pay for some program like WW. I really felt that $500 spent for new clothes would be money more well spent than WW. I say, take the money you’d spend with WW, and instead budget it for reward clothes -or anything else you’d like to reward yourself with. I think it would be more motivating than dealing with The Twins, and the crappy slogans and products and junk.
Rachel said,
February 8, 2007 at 2:40 pm
I think the fine folks at Weight Watchers do a lot of good and are really helpful for a lot of people, but I’ve lost almost 90 pounds all on my own without WW weighing me in and selling me their products. I think if you just keep your goal in mind and remember all you’ve learned, you should be fine.
Debbie said,
February 8, 2007 at 3:10 pm
It sounds like you already know everything you need to lose weight. Put the money toward new clothes (as you continue to lose the weight on your own) or movies or music or travel or just put it in the bank. You’ve paid them for the knowledge they gave you. It just sounds like you need to keep believing in yourself.
Jen said,
February 10, 2007 at 1:15 pm
It’s your money and time and you should definitely spend it in the ways that are most productive for you. A lot of people join WW long enough to get all the materials and just do that program on their own.
I still go to meetings because they work for me, but I can definitely see the things you’re talking about. The part I like the least about WW is that they actually profit from my fat. Why can’t I find a way to do that? :)
JB said,
February 19, 2007 at 2:00 pm
I’m doing Weight Watchers, too. However, I’m just doing the points counting and not the meetings. For what it’s worth, it’s working just as well for me without all the extra weighing in to other people, and meetings, and everything as it seems to work for people who do all of those extra things. I’m still half way to my weight goal and half way through my 12 weeks. I think some people really need the added support, but some people don’t. Maybe you’re just someone who doesn’t.
Dawn said,
June 28, 2007 at 10:57 am
I do not attend meetings. It is rediculously expensive.
Lisa said,
October 2, 2007 at 7:09 pm
I so everything i am supposed to on WW and still can’t seem to drop pounds; what seems to be the problem?