Chronicles of a Late Bloomer

My friend, the LBFL, asked me if his recent suffering could be categorized as a low-grade clinical depression. I ran through a few diagnostic questions for him and agreed that the mourning phase of his last breakup appears to have left him with a set of standard (and perhaps even boring, pedestrian, cliched) symptoms, which include:   

• low energy and motivation
• unexplained sad mood
• decreased appetite
• a sense of apathy or indifference
• lack of pleasure in previously pleasurable activities and
• blunted emotions.

My friend, though, is a very serious guy. He’s a lawyer and he loves proof. He likes The Science. He does not share my awe and wonder at the mystical side of life, and so when I suggested that he might try St. John’s Wort to alleviate his mood and ameliorate his symptoms, he could only scowl. Although he had described his depression in very common terms — that “it feels like there’s a blanket over everything” and “nothing appeals to me” and “I just feel like something is off” — he did not want my semi-professional advice to include any combination of the words “saint” and “wort” and “herbal.”

Rather than fight him at the time, I patted him on the back, went home, and dug out an article that I’d found during some earlier research. Then I made him a copy, attached it to a silly collage, and mailed it to his office with the words Serious and Sober Scientific Stuff stamped across the envelope.

The article¹ examines modern research on the top 7 herbal supplements on the market. It ranks the research according to how reliable it is (or isn’t), and then runs a meta-analysis to answer the question: “Does taking herbal supplements do anything?

In some of the cases, the answer was, “No, not really.”

In the case of St. John’s Wort, however, the answer was, “Yes, absolutely, and it seems to do so nearly as well (if not as well) as the synthetic anti-depressants.” In fact, according to the article, St. John’s Wort seems to not only be as effective in treating mild-to-moderate depression as a prescription drug, but it does so with a lower side effect profile overall and can work in as short as 2-3 weeks (I tell most of my patients to expect 6-8 weeks with the synthetic stuff).

Well, the LBFL had no choice but to agree that the article presented its evidence convincingly, and he went to Rite Aid to scope out the “potions and brews” available in the “hippie aisle.” Upon finding a very masculine looking bottle, wrapped in a serious dark blue with only subtle, metallic highlights, he knew he had found his pill. For as much as he loves and respects me, LBFL could not bring himself to buy any of the ridiculous-looking, flower-laced packaging monstrosities and I can’t say that I blame him.

But, he believes that the more serious the packaging, the more legitimate the claims. I can’t say that I blame him — I’m the original Sucker for Packaging, and so is everyone else who has ever shelled out for Philosophy Cosmetics, for instance.

1. The article was published in 2002 in the American College of Physicians — American Society of Internal Medicine journal by Edzard Ernst. Disclaimer: St. John’s Wort may react with other medications including prescription anti-depressants, so please don’t take it without consulting your doctor, particulary if you take other medicines. [↩]