My therapist asked me yesterday if I had any concept of what it would be like to weigh under 300 pounds. Now, I’m a smart girl with a very rich imagination. I’m an artist, who likes to explore new concepts and push the boundaries of reality and thought. I’m a researcher, who enjoys envisioning new [...]
I was all caught in traffic today and so arrived so late to my meeting that they had already locked the doors and were closing out the register. Fortunately, I had a $10 bill and they had 5 pennies for change so they let me sneak in, pay, and get weighed. I felt sorry to [...]
I’ve had an unpredictably difficult therapy week. Things have been good, you know? Things have been really good since all of this new eating began. For someone with an eating disorder that stretches back nearly 30 years, it’s been a remarkably smooth transition into eating more carefully and being accountable for it. Perhaps too smooth [...]
To say “I’m menstrual” is a real understatement for someone who has PCOS and only gets their period once every 3 or 4 months. At any rate, the trauma that it puts my body through is explanation enough for having lost only .2 pounds in a near-perfect eating week. I’m not worried about it. Bodies [...]
Okay. Let’s face it. This week, it’s all about the spinach frittata that I concocted.
A cup or so of spinach (either frozen that’s been thawed and the water squeezed out, or fresh torn into little pieces and wilted over low flame for a few minutes). Use a small, non-stick frying pan that’s safe to [...]
I’d been casually thinking of goals — not with any prompting or from any sense of “should,” but just in the natural course of things and in the wake of the mind-bogglingly-quick and surely-temporary progress I’ve made so far.
It wasn’t a big leap to start thinking about goals; I’m already looking for an excuse [...]
I go through food phases. I know I’m not the only person who does this, but my phases seem pretty out there. I can eat the same thing (or vacillate between the same two things) for weeks on end. Right now it’s whole wheat pasta (preferably penne, rigatoni, or fusilli) with homemade sauce and meatballs [...]
Well, today was the first official one-week weigh-in. One week to the minute, in fact. In that one week, I lost another 4.8 pounds. This includes pizza with Kiri and Brenda when they were here this weekend and the dumpload of oil from Subway Sandwich’s ordering-coherency mishap. It includes the four teaspoons of peanut butter [...]
Yesterday was a hard day. I find myself wanting to exert more and more control over what I eat — like with the Subway Sandwich guy on Sunday. Yesterday was an all-day training for schools counselors and lunch was provided. I knew it might well be something I didn’t want to eat, but I also [...]
I was just explaining to my therapist about how even though I’ve lost 11.4 pounds, it’ll take a while yet before people will begin to notice. In fact, judging by history, I can expect to lose 30, 35, or even 40 pounds before people start asking, “Are you losing weight?” I’m okay with that. I [...]