Chronicles of a Late Bloomer

You wouldn’t believe the binge that began 5 minutes after I left my first Weight Watcher’s meeting and has lasted over 24 hours now. It included trips to In-n-Out, McDonald’s, and other places too unspeakable to even mention. It also included a box of toaster strudel, half a container of ice cream, and rice pudding. Oh, the rice pudding! (Koooooozy.)

I’m trying not to beat myself up too much about this. I haven’t even read any of the program materials yet. I’ve just thought about what a sell-out I am to have bought into the consumerism of weight loss and the full-on civil war that’s being waged inside of me. I love myself. I hate myself. I coddle myself. I punish myself.

But it doesn’t feel right. Doesn’t feel good.

Theresa agreed to come over and help me sort through the food I’ve currently got in the house. Honestly, it isn’t much junk food (junk food doesn’t last long here!) but fairly good food that I just won’t be eating anymore. Food like pint-sized breakfast yogurts (but the sugar-and-fat variety) and bread and pretzels. Anyway, I still have no idea if this or any other “program” is going to work, but I suppose I won’t know until I try.

I just want to refuse to buy into this vanity-driven market. Gross.